you will be missed… | scottsdale photographer (and grandson)

Hi All,

The following post is a lot more personal than anything I have ever posted. It is probably more personal than anything I will ever post again. It is a post about love and appreciation. Unfortunately it is also about death. If this is something that you would not care to know about, then please do not continue to read. I will not mention this again and the blog will go about it’s professional tone starting with the next post. Lastly, let me mention that the text is followed by an image that I find beautiful. It will be viewed by some as somber, but it is in fact a tender and beautiful moment. Perspective is everything, and I chose to see the good.

Some of you that know me know that my grandmother recently passed away, necessitating my recent trip to Florida. This post is for and about her… Cynthia Florette Stempel. She filled the years from January 6th, 1924 through March 12th, 2010 with as much life as she could. She was not a grandmother as painted by Norman Rockwell but a far more complex and genuinely interesting version.

Grandma was part of what has come to be known as the greatest generation. She served in the Navy as a Pharmacist’s Mate 3rd Class during the Second World War. Interestingly enough I also served in the Navy during Desert Storm and was a Hospital Corpsman 3rd Class (the name changed following WWII). I didn’t give that too much thought at the time but there was a connection. One of my uncles became a nurse  and went on to become a hospital CEO which is the position he holds today. My father, while having one of, if not the most interesting lives of anyone I have ever known, is currently a Nurse Practitioner and in charge of an ICU in Chicago.  In addition to my medical service in the Navy, I attended college with the intention of becoming a doctor (my mind and career obviously changed). There must be something in the genes.

As I mentioned above, grandma was cut from a different cloth. She didn’t cook (well anyway), she loved to gamble (grey hounds, Jai alai and the slots to name a few), and dine out, and most of all, she loved a man for 39 consecutive years who meant the world to her. They did everything together and it is for him that I am the saddest. As much as I loved my grandmother, he loved her more. I was born to love her while he chose to and never wavered.  They never married and yet he stayed by her through everything. In the end (which was not quick in coming) he waited on her hand and foot. He did everything in his power and hoped for things that were not. I will always love him for the love he showed her.

While this does not begin to scratch at the surface of the person that my grandmother was, I will close this with a simple statement… Grandma… you will be missed.

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Karen Bever - March 26, 2010 - 4:28 am

Keith,

Sorry for your loss, our deepest sympathies to you and your family. May your reflections on her life and to those that all knew her help with your healing. The Bever Family.

Thelma - March 24, 2010 - 8:37 pm

Dear Keith,
George & I want you to know you have our deepest sympathy over the loss of your Grandmother Cynthia–I met her on a couple of occasions while your Mom was still married to your father. She was quite the character and always very pleasant and sociable to be around.
Your tribute to her was very lovely—much like I felt and still feel over the loss of my brother Keith in September. Though Keith wasn’t quite the sweet & loving grandmotherly type, he was my brother and I loved him very much and I shall miss him the rest of my life. You’ve become quite an eloquent,compassionate, writer Keith, and I’m proud to have known you all of your life. With all our deepest sympathy and love, Thelma, George, Wendy , Jason, & Adam

Stuart Thurlkill - March 21, 2010 - 10:12 am

Keith,

This is such a moving story and moving image. It makes my soul ache and sing at the same time. God says he will give us beauty for ashes. You have truly captured the beauty of your grandmother and the love your grandfather feels for her and his devotion in your words and image. A truly beautiful moment. This is the kind of story that changes us, me. Thank you for sharing!

How strange to experience beauty in the midst of pain. Although we never fully understand the passing of others it never seems to leave us unchanged. Even after a loved ones long life it continues to feel foreign to have the person we have laughed with and danced with no longer there in the flesh to share our life with us. And yet they remain with an undeniable mark on our past and present.

As those I have loved have stepped forward past the physical I realize that they are now my song. They are the place of my deepest wound and my strongest joy. I cling to both their memory and their present place in my heart. As you grieve your grandmother I want you to know that we grieve with you with you with inward groaning and tears.

May God’s comfort fill you and your family with his deepest peace and strength during this very difficult time my friend!

Stephen Pitts - March 21, 2010 - 9:22 am

Dear Nephew,

After reading your blog, it brought tears to my eyes. The picture of Alfredo standing over the coffin says it all. I have never been more proud and honored to be your uncle.

Dispite the many challenges you experienced along the way, you learned to forgive and persevered to become a very loving and conscienious man.

In a lot of ways, as we discussed, it parallels the events and people that played a significant part in my life.

Never forget, Grandma loved you unconditionally. I hope that as you continue on your path in life that you will remember that and bestow that level of emotion and even forgiveness to your wife and children.

With the utmost love and respect,
Uncle Steve

DARLENE - March 20, 2010 - 7:40 am

My heart goes out to Fredo and to all her family; the red haired firecracker is sure going to be missed.

Dena Patton - March 20, 2010 - 7:36 am

Keith,
You are not only such a great photographer but a great writer. You captured your grandmother so well in this post. Your work is you and you are your work and this is part of it. Capturing life as it happens. It is really touching and I’m so sorry for your loss. love and hugs to you.

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